Kendrick Lamar has never been shy about revealing details about his life: DAMN’s “Duckworth” and good kid, M.A.A.D. City’s “m.A.A.d. city” are just two of many moments where he’s gone deep into his personal history on record. And on new album Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers, the Compton superstar gets more vulnerable than ever before, revealing his personal journeys through therapy (“United in Grief”), fatherhood, daddy issues (“Father Time”) and his battles with generational trauma and sexual violence (“Mother I Sober.”)
But he speaks most candidly about his relationship with his longtime partner Whitney Alford. They’re childhood sweethearts who got engaged in 2015 and now have two children together—she’s been a constant in his life throughout his whole career. (She even sang background vocals on To Pimp a Butterfly, lending her voice to both “King Kunta” and “Wesley’s Theory.”) She’s everywhere and everything on this album, including the cover image, narrating on four tracks including “Mother I Sober” and “Father Time,” and telling Kendrick that he needs therapy on the latter. According to Lamar himself, she’s more than just his lover: she’s a grounding figure for him in times of stress and crisis. Kendrick raps more about Whitney on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers than ever before, but it’s by no means the first time he’s alluded to her in his music. What follows is a breakdown of her previous appearances in his lyrics.
“She Needs Me” from the 2009 mixtape Kendrick Lamar EP. The first love song Kendrick ever wrote is a parable about a flawless woman who is comparable to nobody else in the world. It’s classic and simple, mentioning his parents’ unabashed approval and her unyielding confidence in the way she carries herself. At the beginning, he insists that she needs him to be happy. By the end of the two minutes, he comes to the realization he, in fact, cannot live without her. Armed with a mountain of evidence of how she completes him, he can’t even imagine wanting to.
The timeline of Kendrick and Whitney’s relationship matches up with the track: Kendrick and Whitney were high school sweethearts who graduated in 2005. “Five years later, an accounting major, work at a firm/Abundance of paper, she got a career,” he raps at the beginning of the second verse–after high school, Alford attended California State University, Long Beach, and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in accounting. While the rest of the track looks more to the future, it’s apparent that Kendrick had Whitney in mind from the outset.
“Determined,” a bonus track from the 2009 mixtape Kendrick Lamar EP. While Kendrick had striven to keep his and Whitney’s relationship shielded from the public eye, that has not stopped him from citing her as an influential figure in his rap career. In a 2014 interview with the New York Times, he called her the one person with the power to call him out on anything, whether in life or his career. “One particular young lady. She’s been here since Day 1,” Lamar explained.
On the bonus track, he gives a first-hand account of how “his girl” helped him stay the course during moments where his confidence failed him. As he shares his insecurities with her over a bucket of KFC, she shuts his doubts down immediately: “You know you the best boy, you gotta keep doing it/But don’t forget when you do, just keep you in it/And never listen to what the industry say/Don’t be a typical artist, be more like Jay.” By Kendrick’s own confession here, without her he wouldn’t be the man or rapper he is today.
“Growing Apart (To Get Closer)” from the 2010 mixtape Overly Dedicated. Kendrick gets surprisingly personal on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, even going as far as to call out his “lust addiction” on the track “Worldwide Steppers” and talking about how his infidelity put pressure on his relationship. He alluded to similar transgressions in the opener from Overly Dedicated, rapping with melancholic honesty about the strain he’s putting on his girlfriend: “Meanwhile I’m in these streets with everybody, I’m trying to get it/And she know they got me, I watch her feelings watch me/As they staring with the saddest eyes of loneliness,” he raps.
“Buried Alive Interlude” from Drake’s 2011 album Take Care. This appearance could be considered the moment when Kendrick began the shift from underground darling to star. Money and success can do crazy things to your perspective, and here, Kendrick doubts his relationship. “The reason why my best friend say she loves me more than life/But I live a double life and need to let her go,” he raps, believing that he must cut her loose as the pressures of fame and wealth begin to materialize.
Billboard and The Breakfast Club in 2015 In a 2015 cover story with Billboard, Kendrick said his connection with Whitney transcends the need for a label. “I wouldn’t even call her my girl,” he says. “That’s my best friend. I don’t even like the term that society has put in the world as far as being a companion — she’s somebody I can tell my fears to.” Months later, following their engagement announcement, he doubled down on the devotion in an interview with The Breakfast Club, echoing the need to be loyal to the woman that’s held him down from the beginning.
“LOVE.” from the 2017 album DAMN. Kendrick and Whitney confirmed their engagement in April 2015, following the release of To Pimp a Butterfly, and this track sounds like the result of years of maturing and working on a relationship. “Keep it a hundred, I’d rather you trust me than to love me/Keep it a whole one hund’, don’t got you, I got nothin’,” he croons on the ballad, realizing the sentiment that he expressed back in 2009 remains true eight years later.
Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. This is Whitney’s coming out party, as suggested by the album cover, which features her sitting on the bed opposite him, holding the couple’s second child. The family that they’ve built is at the center of the album. Her presence looms large on the four tracks she features on (and even elsewhere), narrating as a guiding force towards the self-actualization Kendrick hopes to achieve. On the opening track “United in Grief,” she urges him to be honest as he embarks on his most personal project to date. “Tell them, tell ’em, tell them the truth,” she demands. The last time we hear her voice is on “Mother I Sober,” the emotional climax for Kendrick, closing out the trauma-laden opus. “You did it, I’m proud of you/You broke a generational curse,” she says calmly.