In late 2021, the soccer star and two-time World Cup champion Christen Press reached the sort of realization that has lately seemed to be in the air: She needed a break. And so, after playing abroad for Manchester United and in a postponed Tokyo Olympics, in September 2021 the veteran announced via Instagram that she’d be taking some time away from soccer to focus on her own mental and spiritual health.
Two weeks prior, the Palos Verdes, California native had become the first player signed to Angel City FC, Los Angeles’s new NWSL expansion team founded by investors like Natalie Portman, Abby Wambach, Jennifer Garner, and Serena Williams’s husband (and Reddit cofounder) Alexis Ohanian. Knowing that she was locked in her return to play for Angel City, the 33-year-old booked a ticket to Spain to do something she’d long wanted to: hike El Camino de Santiago, a network of pilgrim routes that stretches across the country, something she describes as “right up her alley.”
This signing with Angel City was significant on multiple fronts. For one, it meant Press would be anchored in her hometown for the first time in her decade-long professional career, which has taken her to Sweden, England, and across the US. As the first majority female-owned NWSL team, Angel City represents something different in a league recently riddled with public allegations of abuse and misconduct. In a report by The Washington Post, it was revealed that Press was one of seven players who filed a formal complaint about now-former Chicago Red Stars coach Rory Dames’s emotionally abusive behavior in 2018, concerns that she’d raised as early as 2014. Shortly after, Dames was one of four male coaches to be fired from the NWSL over allegations of misconduct.
Ahead of her highly anticipated debut with Angel City, Press sat down with GQ on a sunny Malibu day in late February to talk about her decision to take a break from soccer, what she learned during her time off, and her return to Los Angeles.
Last year in September, you announced that you were taking some time away from soccer. What did the process to make that decision look like?
It was a long time coming and also spontaneous. Obviously, we were fresh off the Tokyo Olympics, which was a grueling tournament both because of the results and the pandemic and us being in isolation for a long period of time. I’ve never been away from the game. I studied abroad in college and took three months off, and that was the only break I’ve had in my life.
There’s this general consensus in sport that you just suffer: You push through it and keep going and that’s what makes you tough and that’s what makes you an athlete. But I believe in my heart that there’s another way. You can find flow and you can be at ease on the field and you can have bliss when you play. I felt like, in order for me to get closer to the player and athlete I wanted to be, I had to take a step back and focus on how close I can get to that blissful space off the field as a human and really understand my identity as a full person outside of an athlete.
I also had things outside that I wanted to process: I had compounded really important emotional impacts that I had, and hadn’t addressed them. I kept going. Sometimes you put yourself second so that you can be in the position that you need to be for your sport and for the world, and I felt like this was the time that I needed to put myself first. I do believe that the most important thing you can do for the world is take care of yourself and that applies to your team. For me to be my best self, I need to take care of myself and that’s how I take care of them so that when I show up again, I’m better and I can share and spread that.
I’m curious what factors you considered when making the official decision to take the time off and to announce it publicly.
I think there’s always fear of the unknown. I’m always fully aware that I take my own path; I will march to my own drum, and it’s my own life. I think I do that proudly. But I think when you do that, it will be shocking or confusing for other people. I think ultimately what allowed me to do this was that I believe in myself.
Honestly, there are a lot of athletes that need a break but feel like they can’t take it because they are being put in this position of vulnerability. I knew I was going to be able to play for Angel City when I came back and had this as a launchpad to get back to who I wanted to be. I think all those things factored into my ability to walk away for a little bit.
During your time off, you took a trip to Spain and hiked El Camino de Santiago. What was that experience like?
Right after I made that announcement, I booked a flight and two days later flew to Spain, it was all in a second. My aunt had done [El Camino] before. I’ve lived in Spain and can speak some Spanish. You never really get to take that time so as soon as I said I’m not playing, I was like, this is what I want to do. No matter how grounded I am, there’s some naïveté and hope that it was going to be this transformational trip… that I was going to be wowed by beauty and moved to tears every day and it was going to be so hard and be physically exhausting everyday. And it was so simple. I just woke up in the morning and I started walking until I was at my destination. That was the beginning and the end of it.
I’m very planned as a person. I don’t do things spontaneously often but I booked my trip and left two days later. I bought my backpack, packed it up and when I landed, I didn’t have a hotel. I had to sort that out. Every day I would get up, decide how far I was going to walk, book a hotel, and get there. I was forcing myself to be comfortable with a certain amount of unknown, which I think was good for me.
A lot of El Camino, you’re right by a major road. So you think you’re going to be in a heaven on earth place, and it is beautiful but it’s also just life. I feel like when I left the trip I realized that the profound nature of the walk was its simplicity. It was this lesson that you’re not going to find yourself, oneness, transcendence or bliss on a one week trip or a month long trip. You have to find it in your everyday life because that’s how you live. It doesn’t take magnificence around you. It comes from within. It could be in your office or on a playing field, wherever you are.
The simplicity of the trip taught me that what I was searching for was within myself. It really motivated me for the rest of my break and moving forward to build a discipline into my everyday life, where I could commune with nature, meditate, and set my goals and do everything that I was doing during the trip—but that I have to continue to sustain them with discipline over the course of my life.
How was the rest of your break?
I was living in Europe and traveled several times. I spent a lot of time working on my business, and really got to make progress, that as a player I will never be able to spend that much time on it. I got to wake up and say, wow every single day… I have no commitment, so everything I do was a choice. And that’s a very interesting place. Because people’s work provides a little bit of structure for them. So I was like, well who am I?
I went and joined a lawn club in England, and I started taking tennis lessons. I was living right next to a giant heath, which is a forest park in the UK. I would go into the forest park and swim in this all women’s pond which was like freezing cold water. Three or four times a week I was doing this cold water swimming… It was the best part of my whole break. I wish there was a freezing cold pond right here. It was so amazing.
Was that also where you were running barefoot through the mud?
Yeah, yeah! That was the heath. I walked in the heath everyday. I loved being outside. The UK isn’t exactly like this [pointing to the sunny California beach in view] so it was the forest park that brought me a lot of joy.
I felt like I missed competing. I did miss the structure, but I also loved not having it. I felt so whole. The reason why I felt so strongly that I was going to come back better than ever was that I was like, I don’t need it. I’m going to choose it. Before that, I was like, who am I? It’s like, no. I’m completely happy. That’s who I was. So now, everyday that I come here, I see it as a choice and that’s very liberating.
Do you think that this is the first time you’ve truly felt that way about soccer?
Yeah. I think I felt a little bit like that when I moved to Sweden, because at that point I was dreaming of playing on the national team. I had so much anxiety that I had never made it; the [Women’s Professional Soccer] league folded and I had 3 days to make a choice. I was like, okay, I’m going to go play on the only team I can get on.
Honestly, I was at such a low point. I felt like I didn’t have much to lose. I felt like, who cares what happens? And then I started playing really well and within 3 months I made the national team. It was so ironic. Then you make the national team and you’re at the very bottom. And you just want to get to the top and now I feel like, beyond that. Of course you can still get trapped in your external validation and expectation but I feel like I’m good.
Every day that I get to play is a choice and a blessing. I can really find peace with just having one goal and one expectation, which is for me to be the best I’ve ever been. I feel very motivated to do that for myself. To believe that all the work I did internally. To believe that the thing I was telling you about, flow and ease, I want that to be proven correct. I want to play in a way that proves that that is correct. That’s my only motivation.
How did playing in Sweden help you, if at all, in looking back at Rory Dames’s behavior?
I don’t think my time in Sweden factored at all into how I dealt with the issues in Chicago. It took me a really long time to understand that that behavior was wrong. I still have a lot of questions on what the line is. There’s a gray area and it’s really hard and really confusing when you’re in a compromised position. I don’t know.
I do think that internationally women in sports are dealing with issues. It’s not unique to the US and cultural differences are even harder to understand because everyone treats bodies and the way they speak to women is so different. A part of me is like, we’re American, we’re progressive, we’re not going to put up with this but you want to be respectful of where everyone is culturally. I’ve lived in Spain, I’ve lived in Sweden, I’ve lived in the UK, and I feel like gender issues are prevalent everywhere. I’ve seen body shaming. Inappropriate relationships, issues with the locker room and safety and in the language they use and word choice. I’ve seen it everywhere I’ve played and I think it’s going to take some real structural changes to turn the corner.
In the letter you and your fellow national teammates wrote to the United States Soccer Federation, you said that you won’t stop until the sport is better for you and the next generation of girls. What changes do you hope to happen?
It’s as simple as, absolutely… We need safe places to play. That looks like examining what’s going wrong right now, but also about creating institutions and systems where there is no room for error. I think that’s across industries. People need to do a better job of reckoning with the truth of where we are as a society and building a system that is completely reimagined. Safe, liberating, and provides opportunity for all.
What does it mean to you to not only be returning home, but to be the face of the first majority female-owned NWSL team?
I think as you go through your career, you never really look at yourself and think that you’ve made it, or that you deserve anything. You try to be better than where you were yesterday and try to have peace with where you are today. So I think there was this moment where I was announced as the first player and I got to experience the reception from Los Angeles—I was completely shocked. The fans demanded it; they were like, “bring Christen home.” I was so shocked by that. It’s humbling and it’s an honor to be able to represent this city and this club.
Playing in Los Angeles was a dream come true but I think playing for a club that represents a new future for women’s sports is the dream. It’s like a dream that we almost wouldn’t dare to even have because it’s radical. It’s something that I’m really proud of. Off the field, I’ve worked really hard for gender equity and racial diversity and inclusion—things that are super near and dear to my heart that are super aligned with this club, what it stands for, and what it symbolizes. The announcement in the beginning was like, “this is going to be perfect” but now it’s going to be hard. Now, it’s the work ahead. We have to put our money where our mouth is and do all the things that we’re representing and be different, elite, and distinguished as a women-owned and -led football club.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity