The proliferation of COVID-19-“inspired” art is fast approaching. Returning TV shows are starting to incorporate the pandemic—this week’s season premiere of This Is Us took all of 90 seconds to mention “the virus.” But the real enemy will be the films and series that don’t just reflect these times, but directly fictionalize them. The idea, widely-promoted at the beginning of the pandemic, that you should watch Contagion was bad enough, but new films using the very real nightmare of 2020 as source material feels crass and traumatizing. Why would anybody in 2021 or beyond actually be nutty enough to pay to relive this apocalypse via the genre trappings of a B-movie thriller starring a CW actor?
Apparently Michael Bay thinks that we will, because he’s producing the first foray into Covid Cinema with Songbird, a “romantic thriller” directed by Adam Mason starring KJ Apa (of Riverdale fame, unrecognizable without the Archie red hair) as well as Bradley Whitford, Paul Walter Hauser and Demi Moore. To reiterate: in the seventh month of the pandemic, this is a trailer for a film imagining society in the fourth year of it, with the death toll in the millions and mandatory “quarantine camps” (isn’t that an oxymoron?). It’s unbelievable on many levels, so let’s break down the five most insane things about Songbird.
1. The theme song is “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley. This is the most random match of reggae and violence since Inner Circle and Cops. “Three Little Birds” is one of Marley’s most saccharine songs, the kind of thing that reggae snobs dismiss in favor of his earlier work with Lee “Scratch” Perry. The trailer’s use of it goes from bizarre to just dull when the track morphs into a distorted, chopped and screwed mix. Let’s leave this gimmick to Jordan Peele, guys.
2. There are strippers. Leave it to a Michael Bay production to consider what a gentleman’s dance will look like during a major pandemic. Here in good ol’ 2020, the strip clubs that are open (read: in Atlanta) are operating like they’ve had a vaccine since May. But in the near-future, there are face shields!
3. There is Demi Moore. Demi does about one movie a year, tops. Clearly this is not someone aching to stay very active in the business. (She also co-stars in Peacock’s flagship show, Brave New World, but these new streaming services are likely throwing Italian villa money around for big name vets.) Why was this your pick for 2020, Demi?
4. Excuse me, Covid-what? It’s bad enough that Songbird dramatizes the idea that we have at least three and a half more years of this. But Bay doesn’t stop there: In the near-future, corona has mutated four levels up to COVID-23, a strain that affects brain tissue. This trailer will do wonders for anxiety and seasonal depression.
5. Covid-ACAB. Songbird is apparently keen on incorporating another big 2020 theme– police and militarized violence. A no-knock warrant was the axis of one of the year’s biggest tragedies, and so here in this clip we have government goons (albeit led by the always welcome character actor and Michael Bay-mainstay, Sleaze Lord Peter Stormare) knocking down doors if they think you have a fever, and troops brandishing guns at any citizen they fear isn’t “immune.” Will trailer number two reveal a high-stakes election for the future of democracy, too?