The first, and perhaps only, presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris was carried on every major network and cable news channel. It should really have been broadcast on ESPN.
That’s because the evening seemed less a debate than an enthralling boxing match, the best since the Thrilla in Manila. And no points for guessing who came across like Muhammad Ali and who like Joe Frazier.
Yes, Harris was floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. Her extensive preparations for the evening clearly paid off as she bobbed and weaved while Trump kept throwing wild uppercuts and nearly falling to the mats. Oh, and by the way, did you know that illegal immigrants are pouring into the country by the millions, directly from mental institutions and insane asylums? And that the crime rate in Venezuela is way down?
I bring up the last points because Trump did. Repeatedly. If he was asked about abortion, he talked about illegal immigrants. If he was asked about Jan. 6, he talked about illegal immigrants. If he was asked about the Russia/Ukraine war, he talked about illegal immigrants. He probably talks about illegal immigrants when the waiters at Mar-a-Lago ask for his dinner order.
The evening took a while to really get going, because Trump seemed to display unusual restraint at first. He didn’t speak out of turn (of course, having the microphones muted helped in that regard) and he didn’t get flustered, merely rolling his eyes so often they seemed to be coming out of their sockets. Clearly, he was listening to his advisers’ warnings about taking the bait. Indeed, he didn’t even look at Harris. Not once. He barely looked at her when she briskly strode over to him at the beginning of the evening and introduced herself (nice touch). At first his not looking at her seemed disciplined. But the more it went on, the creepier it got.
But Harris looked. Boy, did she look. She did nothing but look at Trump as he delivered his frequently nonsensical answers. Her facial expressions were the stuff that memes are made of. Sometimes she looked amused. Other times she looked disgusted but unable to turn away. She always looked laser-focused, which, as we were unfortunately reminded in the last presidential debate, is definitely an asset in a candidate.
Trump amassed considerably more speaking time than Harris, and she seemed totally fine with that. Why wouldn’t she, when the man opposite her who wants once again to be the leader of the free world was shrieking, “They’re eating the dogs! Eating the cats!”? Or when he shouted, “They’re taking over the towns!” as if auditioning for an Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake?
Moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis did a thoroughly professional job, which is more than you can say about one of the debaters. They actually performed the simple act known as (gasp!) fact-checking. As when, after Trump claimed that Harris’ running mate Tim Walz was just fine with executing babies, Davis immediately shot him down. As well she should have. Walz seems far too nice for something like that.
Harris kept needling her opponent, knowing just when and where to jab. She turned his catchphrases and familiar lines against him, saying that his military leaders thought he was a “disgrace” and that world leaders laughed at him. Trump defended himself by citing Viktor Orban as a big fan, referring to Hungary’s leader, not ironically, as a “strongman.” (It was a wonder he didn’t take the opportunity to instruct Vladimir Putin to “stand back and stand by.”)
“Donald Trump was fired by 81 million people. He’s clearly having a terrible time processing that,” Harris announced, as steam slowly started to pour out of Trump’s head.
But it was when she impugned Trump’s rallies, saying that attendees left them early because they were bored, that you could see Trump really lose it like David Banner turning into the Hulk. I mean, you can say anything you want about his children. But not his rallies!
“I’m a different kind of person,” Trump replied to one of the questions, as people watching across the globe dissolved into giggles. When Harris brought up Project 2025, he sputtered “I haven’t read it. I don’t want to read it.” Which may have been the most believable thing he said all night.
Oh, and by the way, did you know that illegal immigrants are pouring into the country by the millions, directly from mental institutions and insane asylums? And that the crime rates in Venezuela are way down? (Sorry, I heard it so many times I’m starting to repeat it. Which, come to think of it, is exactly the way propaganda works.)
Muir asked Trump about the last election, citing Trump’s recent comments in which he seemed to be actually admitting his loss. “That was said sarcastically, you know that,” Trump responded, clearly upset that the moderator right out of Central Casting would so misunderstand him.
“I watched all three pieces of video, I didn’t detect the sarcasm,” Muir said coolly. The television close-captions might just as well have read, “Oh, snap!”
Trump did address Harris directly at times, mostly to call her a liar. Or to say, when she interrupted him, “I’m talking now. Does that sound familiar?” as if proud that he memorized her line. At another point he instructed her, “Quiet, please,” which should have immediately been followed by a commercial for blood pressure medication for women.
People unhappy with their subsidized health insurance will be happy to learn that Trump has a plan to replace it. Well, not really. “I have concepts of a plan,” he explained, which is something that could also have been said of his entire presidency.
Trump kept bringing up Joe Biden, insulting his former nemesis as if he had forgotten which debate he was at. When Harris informed him that he was actually running against her, Trump looked very sad.
Probably the big news made by the debate was that Trump refused to say that he would veto a national abortion ban or whether or not he wanted Ukraine to win the war. But that won’t be what most people will be talking about. They’ll be talking about the fact that the race is between a very tired-looking old man who kept shouting at the camera and a younger, much more vigorous woman who never lost her cool. The longer the debate went on, the more I experienced the joy that people have been talking about.