June 14, 2024, 12:32pm
Finally, you’ve got an advanced copy of a hotly anticipated forthcoming book. Reading it will be great—sure, whatever—but showing it off is going to be even better. Go beyond the coy Instagram posting, and elevate your galley brag game.
“Accidentally” leave it out on tables, like a kid trying to hint at a gift they want.
Let it peek out of the top of your tote bag.
Let it peek out of the top of your child’s stroller.
Let it peek out of the pocket of the chore coat you’re wearing even though it’s over 90° outside.
Pit your friends against each other in your group chats over who you’re going to lend the galley to first.
Start all of your voice messages, phone calls, and emails with “Sorry, let me just put down [coveted advance reader copy] here…”
Text your friends, “I met someone…” and when they reply “!!!” or “oh whoa!” or “does this mean you’re getting divorced,” send them a picture of your galley.
Find increasingly elaborate ways to feature the ARC in the background of your Zoom calls: nestled in your house plants, suspended from wires, etc.
Ask your doctor, “does this look infected?” and then reveal the galley, hidden under your shirt.
Put it in your office kitchenette with your name and a prominent note saying “DAZZLING.”
Put it under a metal cloche on your dinner table, say “I hope you’re hungry…” — reveal the ARC with a flourish — “…hungry for a meal of the mind!”
Write “I have an advanced copy of [highly anticipated release]” in the memo section of your rent check.
Pretend you hear a fly buzzing around, and wield the galley like a fly swatter (cover out, of course).
Have yourself sworn in on the galley in court, instead of a Bible.
When your hairstylist asks, “So, what are we doing today?” show them the galley.
Claim the ARC as a dependent on your taxes.
Never, ever finish reading it, so that you can always flex on your friends when they as if you’re reading anything good.