July 21st, 2023. Two summer blockbusters have simultaneously been released in theaters, leaving millions of you to figure out your double feature plans. Will you first see the one about humanity’s hubris in creating one of the most consequential inventions of the 20th century, and then hit up Oppenheimer? (We have fun around here, folks.) Or will you go to Oppenheimer and then chase it with Barbie?
Much has been made about the ideal order to see Barbenheimer, the ideal outfits to wear, the ideal format in which to see the movies. In the midst of all this, who will speak for the dads? We will—because you should absolutely take your dad to see Oppenheimer.
But what if your dad isn’t plugged into the discourse? What if he’s somehow missed several long, fatiguing months of Barbenheimer promo? He might be compelled to just settle for waiting until Oppenheimer hits streaming or watching it on a 10-inch plane screen, at which point he’ll text you his thoughts, feelings, and questions in a text signed “Love Dad.”
We cannot let this stand.
Christopher Nolan’s biopic about the tormented inventor of the atomic bomb is a weighty masterpiece—few other directors are so well-suited to making a three-hour-long film about scientists talking to each other feel genuinely electrifying.
And few other directors are capable of crafting something so exquisitely—no, diabolically—to entrap fathers across America. (Cut to a montage of boomer fathers Googling “Inception Wikipedia summary” and “end of Tenet explained” on their desktop computers.) But, if you need some more reasons why…
It’s been scientifically proven that dads love a historical drama. (Put some respect on Master and Commander’s name.) For a majority of the dad population, a switch also flips in their brains around the age of 45-50 when they get way too into researching World War II. The History Channel was once an entire corporate entity established on this premise, before they pivoted to all the UFO content. Oppenheimer will give them what they’re looking for in this department.
Twitter content
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
Without spoiling anything, the final hour or so of Oppenheimer transforms into a twisty, heart pounding courtroom thriller. John Grisham built his literary empire on dads. So did every 90s legal flick starring some combination of Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, or Denzel Washington. Surprise and delight your dad with this Oppenheimer third act development.
Repeat after me: “Did you know the Oppenheimer 70mm film reels are 600 pounds and 11 miles long?” You’ll get 30 minutes of conversation solely around the logistics of creating, packing, and transporting the film reels.
Whether overtly or not, Nolan’s been exploring themes of fatherhood in his films for years now. In Oppenheimer, he even cast his eldest daughter as a character who gets blown up in a vision of an atomic explosion, saying: “Truthfully, I try not to analyze my own intentions. But the point is that if you create the ultimate destructive power it will also destroy those who are near and dear to you. So I suppose this was my way of expressing that in what, to me, were the strongest possible terms.”
The cast of Oppenheimer is comically stacked. Here’s a still woefully incomplete list:
- Cillian Murphy
- Matt Damon
- Emily Blunt
- Robert Downey Jr.
- Florence Pugh
- Benny Safdie
- Alden Ehrenreich
- Jason Clarke
- Matthew Modine
- Rami Malek
- Kenneth Branagh
- Gary Oldman
- Casey Affleck
- Josh Hartnett
- David Krumholtz
It’s so packed with talent that Oscar winners Rami Malek and Gary Oldman both sweep in for a combined total of about four minutes of screentime. Nolan purposefully, almost winkingly, films several of these appearances so that the actor reveal is drawn out for as long as possible.
And what do dads love more than watching an actor onscreen and then either saying their name out loud (“Gary Oldman”) or leaning over and asking: “Where have I seen that guy before?” Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Oppenheimer is your chance to give your dad what he wants the most in this world: three unceasing hours of that experience.