July 13, 2023, 12:46pm
Another day, another article about how the unstoppable forces of wokeness are coming for your kids. This time, via an article in The Federalist with the snappy headline “A Woke Children’s Literature Cabal Is Conditioning Your Kid To Be An Obedient Leftist.” TL;DR: Remember the good old days, when kids’ books taught important values like shame and conditional love?
And so, in honor of The Federalist, I present a list of classic children’s books rewritten to counteract the wokeness cabal:
Blue Lives Matter for Sal
Guess How Much I Love You if You’re Straight
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Leftist Cabal
Make Way for Amy Coney Barrett
No Room on My Broom
The Boxcar Children Are Ruining San Francisco
The Little Engine That Could Take Away Your Human Rights
The Grand Wizard of Oz
The Snowy Day Is a Clear Indicator that Climate Change Is a Hoax
If You Give a Mouse Student Loan Forgiveness
The Runaway GOVERNMENT SPENDING
The Taking Tree
Miss Nelson Is Teaching Your Kids CRT!