What has the reaction been like, both from people in your life who didn’t know about this and strangers who might be feeling some sort of connection to your story?
Obviously there are the inevitable trolls on Twitter, but it’s been really, really positive. My family, it’s been really tough to see themselves on HBO. We did family screenings before it came out, but there’s another level of realization when seeing the documentary and seeing my face in the thumbnail on the platform. I didn’t realize how public this would feel. It’s really out there.
We have a tip line and we’ve been getting anonymous tips constantly, which is amazing. I’ve been receiving hundreds of messages on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn from people who have gone through their own loss who can identify some similarities with the family dynamic, who can channel the story.
Tell me more about your family having trouble with their story being public.
I think there’s a loss attached to the act of this becoming public, a loss of anonymity. And I think that’s something that they’re sort of wrestling with and going through the stages with. It’s hard to see yourself on camera and hear your voice in any context—in this context, it’s very amplified. There are things that people have said to me in interviews that they weren’t saying to each other. And in an act of trying to be as balanced as possible, including all of the perspectives, it’s challenging. Especially with Conway and Ally—Ally didn’t know that Conway thought she killed my mom. I wrestle with that in episode four and obviously Ally knows now.
Conway has since come around on her theories about Ally and that’s really challenging for Conway as well, to come to terms with this thing she’s been holding onto for so long. And feeling so horrible for casting aspersions towards my sister. Had she not felt so sure, she wouldn’t have been doing that. She’s sort of seen the weight of her accusations, I think.
Has their relationship since healed at all?
They are moving towards being aunt and niece again. It’s going to take time. And that was my greatest fear in making this, that I’d be creating more disruption, that I’d be doing more bad than good by exposing these vulnerabilities and long-held theories and secrets. The documentary ended but our lives still continued.
You wrestle with the idea that this project is doing more harm than good through the whole documentary. With some distance now, where have you landed on that question? Or are you still working through it?
I think there’s ultimately sacrifices made by the people who are involved, but I never took sides. I never outwardly said, “I think it’s this person because X, Y, and Z” and I was really careful not to do that. I feel okay with where we landed, especially with the fourth episode.
I want to ask about the pivotal moment where you learn the news on camera that someone told your mom that her court time was changed. What was going through your head at the time?
In making this, I’ve had to compartmentalize so much in order to just not be a wreck. That’s a part of me dealing with my grief and finding some finality in my mom’s death, because there’s no purpose to her death to me. Hearing that was a moment where I went home and I got really angry. And I don’t do that very often.
I got angry because, one, I don’t know that the police know that. Even now, after seeing the case files, I don’t know that the police know this detail, which is infuriating. Two, it’s like, did someone plan my mom’s death? Did someone make that call? Picturing someone deceiving my mom in order to create opportunity, it just made me really angry.