“Josh Hawley is a bitch.” And other poetic mockeries of a cowardly senator.

Literature
Jonny Diamond

July 22, 2022, 11:08am

I am very pleased to report that one of the many ways in which the Internet is mocking now-disgraced Senator Josh Hawley—for fleeing the very mob he incited himself—is through verse. Here is what @limericking on Twitter posted last night:

I was so inspired I tossed off a few of my own this morning [to be read in a bad Irish accent]:

There once was a man from Missouri
Whose ethical vision was blurry
His fist he did pump
In support of old Trump
Before fleeing his job in a hurry.

Josh Hawley he tried to deliver
A performance with nary a quiver
But as the mob got rough
He wasn’t so tough
And away Hawley ran like a river.

Did you see what the Senator did?
What he’d like to keep buried and hid?
He fled like a kitten
Or a dog that’s been bitten
Thus killing his national bid.

He raised up his fist like a bro,
To honor the Karens and Joes.
But then they got raucous
And too close to his caucus
Now Hawley’s the clown of the show.

But that’s not where the poetry ends. Please behold this video of former DC police officer Michael Fanone weighing in on last night’s hearing, specifically Hawley’s terrified escape. This is what free verse poetry should be:

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